Au pair Selection Advice

Au pair on Holiday

Written by mv Friday, 27 November 2009 21:06

An Au pair brought the issue of Au pairs working during the holidays to my attention today.  Her host mom had told her that she was to work on Thanksgiving, on a limited schedule, but nevertheless.  What are your thoughts, your practices when it comes to Au pairs on holidays?

Kalina writes. 
“My host mom made me work yesterday on Thanksgiving Day.  I’m so upsetting, because it is a holiday for everybody.  All offices are closed, all daycare centers are closed, all schools and doctor’s offices are closed.  Everybody has holiday.  I think it is not right that I have to work 5 hours long.  I watch the kids and play with them.  Reading books and made kids busy with painting and coloring holiday pictures.  And then I help my host mom with some cooking and the dishes for dinner. 
I like helping my host mom, it’s no problem for me.  But it is still a big holiday in America, and I think that I should have not to work on holiday.  Just helping a little bit with kitchen things.  I help my mom at home for the holiday too.  It’s OK. 

Host mom told me that I have to work on Christmas too.  I think she noticed that I was not so happy about working on Thanksgiving Day.

Is it right that Au pairs do work on holidays?  Or is my host mom like abusing me?”

Comments

VAmom

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Kalina, you are wrong
Au pairs don't have american holidays off. If your family gives them to you, they are being extra nice. I am suprised you didn't know that, your coordinator should've explained it in the very beginning.
The intent of the program is cultural exchange, so au pairs spend holidays with their host families, and not out with their friends.
And not everybody has them off here either. Many families who need the flexibility of au pairs have work schedules that require them to work on holidays (people in the military, doctors, nurses.)

Friday 27 November 2009, 16:18

working mom of 2

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I don’t think it is too much to ask that you help out during the holidays. You just admitted that you help out at home, so what is the difference? All moms that have a holiday dinner at their house need as much help as possible, whether it is help with some cooking, doing dishes, cleaning up or watching the kids for a bit. It should not be a problem as long as those hours are counted toward your regular 45 hrs a week. Matter of fact, my au pair helped me on Thanksgiving. She actually offered because she said she felt like part of the family and that is what a family does…help.

Saturday 28 November 2009, 13:00

Iva-AuPair

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Well, I think that this would be a good time for Kalina to review her contract and see what she signed up for. However, it is true that the Au Pair program is meant to be a cultural exchange and the idea is for the Au Pair to participate in the family celebrations and get a first hand experience on how American holidays are celebrated. She might be able to get away later in the day and spend some time with her friends, but it would be much better and it would make it much easier on yherself if she just try to enjoy the experience with her host family, instead of feeling like she is having to work. Remember Kalina, it is only one year, and you should make the best out of it!

Sunday 29 November 2009, 14:57

Sheryl

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Hi Kalina, well I have to agree with the above posters yes it is ok for you to work. What would you be doing otherwise? like you said everything is closed and your friends are most likely with their host families, so what/where else would you be? Try to think of it as spending time with the family and participating in the traditions instead of "work hours", just like being another member of the family everyone pitches in at holidays, to keep kids occupied help cook etc. Just enjoy have fun at these times, maybe you will learn some new dishes.

Monday 30 November 2009, 09:52

Chicago mom

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To be polite, we did ask our first au pair if she wanted Thanksgiving off. And we where not surprised by her response: "So I can find a hotel room with a kitchen and cook my own turkey dinner???"
Our au pairs liked spending time with us during the holidays and getting paid for it. And they never where scheduled to work the whole day and still stayed with us after they where 'off duty'. Our LCC told us that later on that au pairs are required to work all holidays.

Monday 30 November 2009, 17:53

Patsy

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I am looking at this issue from a more practical point of view. How would you feel if you had to clock in at the office on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas or the 4th of July? I doubt that you would be happy about that.
My au pairs always have looked forward to the American holidays so that they could experience true American culture. They always wanted to help, wanted to know how to prepare and cook a turkey. And wanted to learn about stuffing and cranberry sauce. I never wanted or needed to schedule them formally to 'work' on a holiday. They were happy to help me decorate, cook, set the table or whatever was needed.
So I think there is a happy medium. I think you can just ask your au pair to pitch in a little, without having to 'force' her to officially work on a holiday.
It's all in how you present it.

Tuesday 01 December 2009, 18:54

KC

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I am in agreement with Patsy. Even though au pairs do not have holidays off, I have never scheduled my au pair to work. They have always been happy to help, excited about their first American Thanksgiving, Christmas etc. Those days days that the family hangs out together anyway. So the au pairs are around. And kids can't help themselves wanting to interact with them. And any au pairs of mine has always been very helpful with whatever I needed of her. There was never a need to 'force' them to work during certain assigned times.
Those are holidays after all.

Friday 04 December 2009, 06:01

june

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I think it depends on the situation. Most everyone posted that having an aupair is also benefitting her in the cultural exchange, so if the cultural exchange is making her do all the work on a holiday that is absurd. Including her in the celebration is different though. I just think that parents need to look at how they are treating their aupair...and then figure out if it is "help" or a "cultural exchange". Parents need to realize that they need the aupair so making sure she is happy benefits everyone.

Saturday 05 December 2009, 13:24

Happy Au Pair

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No au pair should have to work on a holiday. As Kalina said, everyone else has that day off so why not au pairs. It just isn’t fair. I just arrived at my host family’s house about two months ago and even though they have made me feel like part of the family, they didn’t have me work on Thanksgiving. I did help a bit, but that is something I wanted to do, I was not forced or expected to work. That is just crazy! Kalina, tell your host mom how you feel and see what she has to say. Tell her it is not acceptable and you don’t want to work on Christmas Day.

Thursday 24 December 2009, 08:19

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