Have you hugged your Au pair today?
Written by mv Saturday, 14 November 2009 17:47
I am going to start with some reasons why we don’t praise. Here are the typical excuses we offer for not praising people around us.
• “They don’t need to be praised for just doing their jobs.”
• “I have too much to do. I just don’t have time.”
• “I have high expectations and expect a lot from others.”
• “Hey, it’s not my job.”
• “My boss doesn’t praise me. Why should I praise others?”
• “Negative reinforcement is important. Only when my employees are criticized, will they improve.”
• “If I praise people, they think they have made it. They will stop improving.”
The value of praising.
One of the ways we build people up is to praise them. There is power in praising people! Something begins to happen in them, in you, and in your relationship when you praise someone. Remember a time when someone told you something about yourself in a praising manner? It was great, wasn’t it? You probably liked that person more after they praised you, didn’t you?
Why is that? The simple answer is loyalty.
Praising people in general, and more specifically, your au pair breeds loyalty. Praise lets them know that you care for them, that you love them.
Praise is an integral part of building a good working relationship with her.
Au pairs, just like all other people, derive a feeling of self-worth from positive acknowledgement. A few words of praise will make your au pair feel like she is not only appreciated, but also, if you choose the right words, as a valued member of the family.
Your recognition serves as a powerful positive motivator because it nourishes her self-esteem and it will make her feel confident of her childcare abilities. Another positive effect is that it increases the likelihood that she will continue to grow and will keep improving in her role as a childcare provider.
Fact is, when we begin to praise people for their positive aspects, our relationships grow. It puts them, and us, on the fast track.
Sincere words of appreciation will make her feel not only valued, but it also breeds loyalty. Loyalty to you and your family. And that is the ultimate outcome that you would want to achieve. Her loyalty is a big benefit for the whole family. A loyal au pair is likely to go above and beyond if you find yourself in an emergency situation. You will be able to count on her, even though on that day you might have to work 13 hours due to some deadline, while your husband is out of town.
I am not advocating having you au pair work more than 10 hours per day, or 45 hours in total per week. But we all have those exceptional circumstances happen, where a loyal au pair that goes the extra mile can be a life saver.
Some ways to praise
You can use verbal praise, words can be very powerful. Praise her character traits. Is she joyful, hard-working, honest, has tons of patience with the kids? Did she do a great job folding the laundry, keeping the stove clean, picking up the play room? Other ways to show your appreciation that I have always advocated is to give her a Starbucks, Target or Abercrombie gift card – whatever is her fancy. Or simply a hug and an “I don’t know what I would do without you”.
Any way you cut it, there is power in praising your au pair (and people in general). First for her, then for you!
Comments
I never thought to get her something like a Starbucks card or similar. I think I just might have to try that. Thank you.
Just little things like: "Hey, have you cleaned the fridge? Thanks." or "Do you again visit Verona this weekend? Its great that you are so interested in our country."
One year after my time in there family I visited them, and during that visit they told me how happy they were that I was so creative and motivated while caring for there baby boy.
It was so wonderful to here that from them.
Uplifting words do a world of good for those that they are addressed to.
And another great side-effect of praising, either verbally or with actions such as a hug or presenting a ticket to the movie theater or the like, is that the person praised and appreciated becomes very loyal. This is how you make friends for life. The lesson of using praise and a show of appreciation can and should be carried into your work environment. Loyal colleagues and subordinates can only further ones career. For one, your supervisor or boss will be impressed and think highly of you when you have people around your place of work that only speak favourably about you.